Ouran Observer
by AoiKuroNekoSan
Summary: A quick glimpse into the life of the Ouran High School Host Club members. Includes Haruhi, Tamaki, Kyoya, Hunny, Mori, Renge, Nekozawa and countless, nameless fan girls.


**Hi, I recently thought that it was stupid that Ouran High School Host Club is one of my favorite manga and I haven't posted a thing about it. I wrote this a while ago, and did a brief touch up just now. **

**Hatori Bisco wrote Ouran High School Host Club. She's a genius. **

The quiet observer looked around the room in bemusement. Even just a glimpse would be enough to capture the atypical atmosphere. The whole aura of the place was…well, call it unique if you like. The room was elegantly furnished. The rare combination of comfortable and ornate was easily impressive. Well-groomed high school girls, wore lemon colored, puff dress and sat sipping tea from all manner of expensive dishware. They nibbled on customary catered delicacies, frequently blushing as high-pitched giggles escaped them. But just what were these girls getting in such a tizzy about? The answer is quite simple actually. These young women were so flustered, because of their close proximity to the reputable members of the Ouran High School Host Club.

As for the identity of these members, that was another story entirely. At the first table what appeared to be an elementary school student was clutching a bunny to his side, laughing with a sort of cuteness that would make even the coldest person's heartbeat quicken. At his side sat a tall, dark haired teenager with well-defined features and a watchful look in his eye.

"Mitsukuni," The samurai reminiscent boy said. "When you're finished, don't forget to brush your teeth." Mitsukuni Haninozuka, better known as Hunny, cocked his head to the side and smiled from ear to ear.

"Yes Takashi!" He agreed sweetly. The senior, Takashi Morinozuka, usually called Mori, nodded thoughtfully and patted his cousin of the same age on the head approvingly.

"Hunny-kun, kawaii!" The well-worn exclamation rang throughout the room. Girls squealed and reddened thoroughly.

"Mori-kun, you're so kind…" A couple of pink cheeked girls admired quietly.

"Ah." He nodded to them in thanks.

Hunny turned his attention back towards the only thing in the room sweeter than his disposition. A triple layer, chocolate, strawberry, vanilla ice cream cake sparkled in front of him, practically screaming sugariness.

"Now for the cake!" Hunny-senpai announced, following with a childish, though reverent shout of "Itadakimasu!" A gleam shone in his eyes, and fork poised, he scooped up about half of the entire cake. Defying the laws of physics he somehow managed to fit it all into his mouth and swallow it whole. Shrill cheers meet his success.

A soft sigh could just be made out underneath all of the praise. An ambiguous looking figure passed by the seniors, looking exasperated. "I still can't believe how much he can eat some times…" A girl, who was normally assumed to be boy, named Haruhi Fujioka wondered aloud. A lively blonde leapt in front of her gesturing his arms left and right for no apparent reason, while flipping his hair and ending it all with a strong point in her direction.

"Ah Haruhi-kun! So charmingly simple minded…Hunny-senpai is Hunny-senpai, so of course he can eat all that cake!"

"Tamaki-sama!" Cried the horde of fan girls. The beautiful Tamaki Souh, president of the club, beamed down on all of his appreciative fans.

"You understand people so well Tamaki-kun!" One shouted. Haruhi shrunk back behind a table. The incredulity she felt about her co-hosts was not abnormal.

"What a horrible explanation you phony king!" Called a voice from bellow. Within seconds Renge Houshakuji rose out of the ground among the creaking and grinding of gears and a cloud of dust. The self-appointed manager coughed a little, but recovered quickly by taking a dainty sip of the French imported tea that sat on the table in front of her.

"Renge-kun…" Tamaki squeaked, trying to interrupt her predictable speech.

"Haruhi-kun!" Renge proclaimed, hopping off her creepy contraption and grasping the cross dresser's hands. "It is all part of Hunny-senpai's image. The lolilota type is one of undeniable sweetness. Without the proper amount of sugar intake Hunny-senpai would never be able to function as he does." Haruhi sweat dropped and attempted to sneak into the background more successfully this time. Tamaki however looked quite interested.

"Oh, Renge-kun such an excellent thought process…" The sincerity of his tone only further supported his stupidity.

"Ho ho ho, but of course! I _am_ the manager of this club!" The sound of her cackling disappeared as she jumped back onto her machine while it spiraled downward.

"Honestly Tamaki-senpai, you make less sense than any other person I know," Haruhi muttered bluntly.

"Haruhi-kun…" Tamaki, who had been shining with thoughtfulness a moment before, now whimpered and sunk back into his corner of woe.

"Ha! Good job Haruhi-kun!" Two identical figures chuckled approvingly, popping up on either side of exhausted girl.

"Get off of me," She said, automatically removing their arms from around her shoulders.

"Oh! Hikaru…Haruhi-kun has rejected me!" Kaoru Hitachiin cried out dramatically, tearing up unnecessarily and somehow suddenly tilting underneath his brother.

"Don't be sad Kaoru!" Hikaru Hitachiin replied, taking Kaoru in his arms and sparkling with an older brotherly air, and something else entirely. "I'm still here for you!" The Hitachiin twins held their oddly seductive pose for a long moment, staring deeply into each others' eyes.

"Kya!" The fan girls shouted. "Forbidden brotherly love!"

"Finally," A cool voice muttered from the shadows. "The twins were behind on their output this afternoon, I thought prime profit would be lost." Haruhi sensed danger, and moved to escape. "Not so fast." Kyoya Ootori, the vice president spoke with a tone of steel. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Bathroom break?" Haruhi invented hopefully.

"You went to the bathroom approximately fifteen minutes ago and have not consumed a considerable amount of beverages since then. As such, I doubt you need to use the bathroom at the moment. More likely you just sensed some aspect of danger, and attempted to leave the room." Kyoya continued. Haruhi silently cursed the shadow king's well-honed mind reading ability. "I don't read minds…but you'll be well pressed to watch your language around me." Haruhi winced. "That said, neither of us has time to be wasting, so I suggest we get back to work." He turned quickly and threw a charismatic, but fake smile at the nearest prey. "Care to see the latest merchandise, my lady?"

The overworked host girl sighed, grabbed a tray of tea, and waited until she was well out of the way to continue cursing the 'mother' of the host club. An eerie darkness surrounded her from behind, and she turned wearily.

"Nekozawa-senpai, I don't think this is the best time right now, I'm supposed to be working."

The cloaked senior ignored the girl's wishes and cackled softly.

"If you wish to have a more effective curse in your arsenal you should join the Black Magic club!" He suggested. Haruhi shook her head.

"No way. One club is _more_ than enough for me. I barely have enough time to go buy food as it is."

Umehito Nekozawa sighed. He snapped the random black rose covered door shut, expertly dodging the beams of light that came seemingly out of nowhere.

"Boys! Stop harassing Nekozawa-senpai," Haruhi reprimanded the Hitachiin twins.

"Aw, I thought we would finally get some entertainment around here!" Hikaru scoffed, hugging her sneakily.

"Not that _you're_ not entertaining Haruhi-kun!" Kaoru finished, equaling his brother's embrace. They winked at each other as Haruhi attempted to escape in vain.

"Haruhi sandwich!" They cried.

"Unhand my daughter you perverts!" Tamaki shouted from the other side of the room.

"He meant son," Kyoya assured a confused looking customer.

"Thanks," Haruhi grumbled, as Mori rescued her from the twins' grasp.

"Cakey! Cakey!" Hunny sang.

The quiet observer chuckled from her seat in the background. What a beautifully chaotic relationship those seven teenagers maintained.

**Well, the end. I thought that went okay. Tell me what you think about the characterization, cause I'm thinking of doing a chaptered fic…eventually. This was like a test drive. Anyway, I'd love some response, thanks a bunch.**

**^.^ AoiKuroNekoSan**


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